With a smile on in the end
Saturday September 06 2008 |
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School is exhausting!!! It's only been three days of school and yesterday I was literally falling asleep at 10PM at the computer. This is bad. There are still 177 days left of school and I already feel like imma die!
So I haven't been doing my blog buddy-like duties and blog hopping. Sorry people. I'll try to do it this week sometime.
So lets talk about my best friend David xD I guess that's an interesting way to say it, but I don't talk about him much because his internet had gone awry last summer and his dad decided just to disconnect it. And he lives in England so we can't talk on a regular basis although we talked on the phone a few times xD I think I mentioned last post that I met up with him last year in Philadelphia, which is, incidentally, a really nice city xD But I was kinda awkward around him because that's just how I am.
So secretly from the moment I met up with him that day on, I realized I liked him xD Slowly as I thought about it and talked to him on the phone I realized I might be in love with him. And that feeling grew and grew even though we barely talked.
Well maybe two months ago he got his internet back =D And I was absolutely ecstatic. We were talking so much and soon I realized I needed to tell him. I mean, he's my best friend... I hated keeping secrets from him even though this secret could tear us apart you know? I mean, "So David, I'm sorta in love with you" is kind of a crazy idea to grasp and I was terrified that maybe telling him would make us feel awkward with each other and grow apart.
Still after a few days of procrastination, I told him. I don't remember exactly how I told him but I kinda eased my way into it... And he was surprised. And felt bad that he didn't feel the same way. But that didn't upset me because I knew he wouldn't feel the way I did. I just needed him to know, you know?
Well a little while passed. David went to South Africa for 10 days to volunteer with thembalista UK. He was helping to build facilities and help people infected with AIDS, HIV, and TB. He came back and we talked all the time.
He told me he liked me. And I was happy about that. He said he liked me but had to suppress that feeling, because of the distance and just everything. I think I was sad that night though but I don't remember why. A few night later when we were talking he told me he couldn't go on the computer for a while, because he had to think about things. Mostly me. I was a mess that night after he left, I really didn't understand why. But then I thought, maybe something good will come out of this.
The next day actually he came back online saying he thought enough about it. At the end of our conversation he told me he was also in love with me.
And now I'm more determined than ever to get my ass to University of London so I can be close to him. So he and I can be together. I just feel like this would work. I just need to get myself there.
This was quite the long entry =] Have fun with that.
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